Love, obsession, fondness, whatchamacallit?

I think I am in love with someone. Then again, if love is to make people or things achieve their essence and heavenly ordained destiny, maybe it's not love after all. Or just a little.

I think I am obsessed with this someone too. I think about this person every day, almost every moment. But if obsession is wanting possession of this person, I don't think it is obsession at all.

Fondness, yes I want to see this person but I try to control myself as much as I can. Because aside from the fact that I can't see this person every day, I don't want to get too attached. But I usually can't help it and can't get this person off my mind.

Platonic. It is non-sexual. Aside from we are both female and I am not gay, she's much older than me and I see her as a superior, as a mentor.

When my mother died, I looked up to her as a mother figure. Also a father figure because of her disciplinary attitude. What's funny is I used to be afraid her. But now, although I still get a little scared of her at times, I care about her more.

I think of wanting to hug her all the time, but she is not fond of hugs. So I am simply grateful to see her, even from afar. No need for touch nor any conversation. Exactly similar to my relationship with my mom.

I draw strength from her, like I used to draw strength from my mom and dad.

I don't know what to call my feelings for her.